“BIO” by Ben Waters
INT. YOUR MIND, PRESENT DAY
Various permutations of you sit around as you are reading this on your internet-capable device.
PROCRASTINATOR YOU
Whoa... Are you guys paying attention to this?
SEX YOU
Is it sexy?
READER YOU
It's like he's literally transcribing exactly what we're saying up here...
Suddenly, BEN WATERS walks out of the shadows of your mind.
BEN WATERS
Hello there.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT YOU
WHAT THE FUCK?!?
BEN WATERS
I'm from Kansas City, Missouri and I've been doing improv and sketch comedy for a few years now. When I'm not performing with Bobby Hot Stuff, you can see me with my sketch group Mr. Fusion which also performs here at iO West...
LOGICAL YOU
You fools! This is just a ploy to get us to read his stupid resume! Stop reading!
PROCRASTINATOR YOU
It's vaguely amusing shit on the internet! I am powerless!
SEX YOU
Is it sexy?
BEN WATERS
I've also been featured in a whole bevy of comedy shorts on Funny Or Die and UCBcomedy.com. By day, I do a lot of editing work on anything from promos and trailers to full-length feature films. You can check out some of my work at benwaterseditor.com.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT YOU
Don't click on that link!!!!
PROCRASTINATOR YOU
Eh, I'll open it in another tab and maybe look at it later.
BEN WATERS
I also enjoy playing Katamari Damacy from time to time...
LOGICAL YOU
He's at the interests part of his resume! How are you still reading this?!?!
FIGHT OR FLIGHT YOU
GET OUT OF MY MIIIIIIIIIND!!!!
EXT. YOU, PRESENT DAY
You have an aneuyrism. Sorry.
